new, old...

I went from young to old.  I don't know why I never hit the mid-life stage?  I hung on forever I guess to the feeling that I was young... maybe afraid to get older...  then life slams you with a need for reflection and growing up and in order to keep going you keep breathing in... it feels like you never exhale.

I have finally exhaled...  and what I see is an old me.  I haven't grown gracefully, I feel.  I metaphorically have shaken off my covers - whatever was shrouding me in a careful cocoon and what I see of myself is an old, bit broken down, heavier, less tolerant and less happy self.  what do I do to fix this?

The exhaling is scary.  I think I knew what I was facing.