Thursday, January 13, 2011

broken pipes


My friend Julie was reminding me that we are at 6 months since Melissa slipped away.  She said she had a day where she just lost it and cried all day.  So odd – I woke up actually feeling really good this morning, had a great morning, felt energetic and happy (odd for the sleepy brock house) and then when I was driving to the office, mid – happy mood – tears started running down my face.  like a broken faucet - not balling or sobbing, just leaking.  Reasons?  I could just be going (more) nuts.  or I could just be consumed in memories right now..  the end of the holidays, trying to feel back to normal, the slowing of everything, my aunt dying?  things I have packed away in my brain bubbling up? I don't know how you know, and some things are just more of a feeling but Melissa is heavy on my mind right now.  I hope you are in peace, my sweet friend, because I know that even in death you aren't resting. I would do anything to know you are still with me.

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